revenge 1.0

in early morning.
i woke up.
get online.
to write on my blog.
still., about what happen several years ago.

several years ago.
past.
there was someone who came and went. made me feel like "there's butterflies in my stomach". made me smile all along day. made feel complete as a girl.
while at the same time made me wonder about him. made me hate him so. made me feel "there's nail in my shoes".
that was him.
he was so jealous to everyone. at the begun that was good. but at the end that was annoying.
because .. he didn't have any right to be that jealous to me. he was not my 'anyone'. just 'someone who comes and goes'.
see..? he's totally not 'someone in my life'.

several years later.
now.
i become himself. i do what he did to me several years ago. i don't know why i do so. but i can feel that i am like him. im chasing him. come to him then go. i do those things with no any reason.
i also jealous to him. be so annoyed to him. just like him.

but there's something that doesn't change.
we're still no one to each.
me or him., have no any rights to be jealous.
because we're 'no one'.

now i know why he did so.
by being him so i could figure out.
why he did so.

it's love.
something that you can't explain for more.

but what i feel now it's little bit different as what he felt several years ago.
it's more to be like revenge.
afterward doing 'that stuff' then i said to myself,"see..now you can feel what exactly i felt.."
while at the same time.,realizing or not., someone who lives in me tells me,"see..now you can figure out why he did so.."

won't it stop.?
when.?
it's like deadlock circle.
like running in a circle.
no matter how far i'm running to., i'm still here.
still in same condition.

did he do the right thing.?
do i do the right thing.?


You... I don’t know what to say
You’ve made me so desperately in love
and now you let me down
...
You.. You turn my whole life so blue
Drowning me so deep, I just can reach myself again
You.. Successfully tore my heart
Now it’s only pieces
Nothing left but pieces of you
(you -- ten2five)



--CePe--